Thursday, 7 June 2007

Self Plagiarized Belated Update About Nothing

I’m some fecker alright! I’ve just this minute typed out a much delayed email to the Primo Buddy extraordinaire Neal ‘the sharp pointy bit at the front of irish climbing standards’ McQuaid – Ever sharp, ever keen and ever bloody making me feel like im not doing enough to get better! Am I earning it??? Am I earning it???…. so long story short I’m going to chop up my mail to himself on my comings and goings of late and deliver it to you lot (whoever you are – I realize some of ye are new as I’ve just come out of the blog closet so to speak – type – whatever!)

Anyway... Been yonks in the making this post has – I’ve been meaning to post more during the last 2 weeks at least but although I’ve been on the net for short periods of time I’ve not had long enough to sit down and type anything meaningful! Anywho – sorry! But heres where I am at the mo anyways…. Not quite stressed but close to it.

Could do that like a weather forecast couldn’t I? Todays outlook – Haa! Anyway…

It’s been a fortnight of Final exams, job interviews, presentations, assignments and illness. Caroline has just yesterday finished her final exam at Chester University and is glad to be rid of the place! Those took a fair bit of combined cramming for (you know how it is!) and the week before this (one that I had off may I add) was spent working on two formal presentations Caroline had to give and my final 3000 word assignment on the pedagogy of questioning! Blah, blah, blah… I managed to get out climbing on rock one day, and that was Friday almost two weeks ago – and have been just training ever since – feeling great though.

Heres the key to it all… I Booked flights to Dublin for next weekend. Me and Kev are hitting FairHead for a 3 day extravaganza! It’s been burning a hole in my mind since I booked the flights! Seriously – I’ve been carrying the guide around with me in classes!! I think I’ve gone nuts! I’ve actually found myself stressing…. Actually thats not the right word…. It’s more like re-living although I’ve not lived it yet – through the routes I’d like to try. These are graphic sensory perceptions I’m talking about man – I mean I can feel the rock… not just the rock but the thinnest layer of dust on the holds, the smell of the cliff-face, the feeling of the breeze, remembering the sense of space and openness behind and below you on the bigger lonely pitches…. But most importantly the thoughts and feelings in your arms, forearms, fingers, spine, gut that you go through while preparing to commit to the crux sequence. The excitement before switching off the brain and going for it. It’s been livid in my head. I feel like I’ve already lead the feckin routes!! I am soo Psyched!! It’s not even funny!

It has now been exactly two years since I’ve been up the head and I feel like a totally different person and climber in every sense – I don’t feel so ignorant – I feel, I know I can pull if I have to and I’ve still had no sign of the headgames that used to be present on all my older trad leads – I’m just enjoying the moves, holds and situations and the thought that I may fall off never enters my head! I know it might happen but I’m just not bothered… During that trip two years ago I managed E6 so I’m keen to test my limits this trip and see whats out there – the only problem is deciding what to invest the time into? The routes no longer justify the question of ‘can I do it’ … it’s more just a question of worth? Is it worth it? The line, the runout, the dodgy wire etc… I’m in a seriously fucked up frame of mind but it’s all good!


Outdoor junkie said...

"Primo Buddy extraordinaire Neal ‘the sharp pointy bit at the front of irish climbing standards’ McQuaid"

wow, that's quite a statement :) Better get the finger out then, hadn't I? ;) And by the way, great email!

Dave said...

Well you know... look dont get all emotional with us, it just came out alright?!!??


So you got that finger out yet then? :)